Goodbye 2014.

Time has flown by yet again and another year is almost gone. It's insane how we feel the days don't go by fast enough yet all of a sudden we're here at the 365th of the 365.

Besides that I think I have at least 5 drafts that I've yet to finish of publish. Well.. goes to show how much time I have.

I've seen a lot of changes through 2014, including of me growing up in faith and character. Maybe not so much with my daily shenanigans haha. Here's all that I've learnt.

1. God is, will be, and is always faithful and graceful with all his plans - it will all work out.

I think I hesitate every single time I hear the phrase "change cell". It's been spoken of throughout the years and I've always had a fear of leaving behind the people I fondly call sisters, the people who've watched me grow up to be the lady I am today. The people who know me best, whom I'm so comfortable with. Earlier this year, I wasn't regularly attending church or cell to much disappointment. When one day, I met up with a close friend from the cell. She told me that she was busy earlier because she had cell and there were plans to move me over. At first, I was really upset maybe because sometimes I go to church for all the wrong reasons - to hang out. Don't get me wrong, I love God and all but having a cell sister to grow and fellowship with was of importance to me. After a while, I did think it through. 

"Hey, I did pray for change in my walk of faith. Could this be the change I need, and the change God wants for me?"

Of course it was part of his plans. From the first day I met my cell leader to the spilling of all I felt to a "stranger" - was amazing. And I knew that I my growth would be spurred. And indeed it has. I'm really thankful to God for he holds all the plans I ever need for my life in his hands and I can rest knowing that. 

Bringing this to 2015 is so essential with all the University fears hitting me, but I'll rest in the knowledge that - "God will provide."

2. Fasting from Social Media isn't that tough after all!

I think this is the most miraculous breakthrough for 2014. Whenever the 40 days of praying and fasting came, I would choose not to fast from social media and make the excuse that it is essential for a Media student like me to be constantly updated through these portals. Especially when you do projects for Advertising or Marketing reasons, social media is a channel that these areas heavily depend on to reach to our target audience. So when the 40 days of fasting came, of course I did not fast from social media - or anything at all in fact. Yes, I am ashamed of myself. But wait. A spiritual attack befell me sometime this year after attending a course and I decided that for breakthrough to come, I really needed to fast from the thing that was robbing me from my time with God - Social Media. So I did. How impossible can it be when my cell leader, a Digital Media strategist was staying away from what could be considered as the essence of digital media? 40 days away from Twitter and Instagram did do me good. I had more time to myself, more time to spend with God and I wasn't constantly distracted by, "I need to check Instagram to see who is living a better life than me" (truth haha okay just kidding). So, it wasn't that tough. Okay maybe it was but.. it eventually got better and i survived!

And so, for 40 days I've been away from Instagram and Twitter as a faith challenge to myself because I realised how glued on to these two portals that I've been missing out on the beauty of life. I've learnt how to appreciate quality time with my family and friends without an excuse or a distraction to peer at my phone constantly, and to have more time to myself and all the thousand and one things I needed to do instead of continually finding an excuse to check my social media apps. And of course, spend more time with God. I used to think that it was impossible for me cause even my best friend knew how much I enjoyed Social Media but I'm so grateful that the past 40 days really showed me what it means to bank in on the strength of God. I've also been greatly blessed through him in various ways over the 40 days and He has also shown me that with Him, all things are possible. So thank you God for this chapter of my life that I will never forget.

A photo posted by Abigail Chang 🐰🎈 (@claritykisses) on Dec 12, 2014 at 8:51pm PST

3. Working hard will bring you where you need or want to go.

Okay, this hasn't been fulfilled just yet. But this shall be a kind reminder to myself that I need to continue giving it my all for year three if I want to do well. I've seen friends who've excelled beyond expectations not only through their own efforts but by God's grace. So, kind reminder.

4. Prayer works wonders.

It's been close to 3 years since I've started praying for the salvation of a close friend, Jiayi. I reached out to her on various instances but to no avail - but I never stopped praying. This year, a mutual friend brought Jiayi to church service and heavily involved her in church activities. We saw how God showed himself true to Jiayi through chocolate incidents where she innocently asked God to provide her with Reese buttercups when she forgot to bring hers out and he blessed her with a pack of 3 by not a coincidence of a marketing stunt at the exact place she was. And when God even went way beyond that where her Mom randomly bought her Reese Buttercups and in Jiayi's words, "My mom will never do this one.. but she bought it." And finally after all God did, Jiayi gave her life to Jesus. And she's been living a life on fire for God it really is encouraging to see and I feel like crying tears of Joy. For from her common phrase of "Guan Yin Ma help me" to "Jesus help me" is just an unexplainable feeling of joy to know that she knows the love of God and that she's living out her life like a victor. 

I honestly have no words to describe this experience but Thank You God.

So keep praying! 

5. If it matters, prioritise it.

I've always been Abby the Bumble bee and I don't really have much time to spare on things outside of my bubble of concern. However, I feel exceptionally sorry to my friends who I've haven't had enough time to spend with through the year, with my constant, "I really have no time!" But I've learnt that prioritising is important and that it is something I should be doing more often.

I've always said that I wasn't ready for the ministry. In all honesty, it was because it wasn't much of my priority - more of something I've always wanted to do. But I didn't want to commit. Being with Meiqi, my new cell leader also helped me to open my eyes to what I should and really need to prioritise in my life and I'm glad that she pushed me to prioritise it.

So hello Primary 3 children in Gkidz, Jie Jie Abby is here to teach you more about God and Jesus next year!!!!!!!!! 

I am rather excited for it - I actually can't wait to see my kids again hehehhehehehe. 

Besides this, I also found time to prioritise family and it's been awfully amazing. My relationship with my mother and father improved drastically and I thank God for it. We're working on the family dynamics now (which includes my brother understanding that family time is not boring and unnecessary but enjoyable and essential) but I'm glad for all that've changed.

Thanks to priorities, I've also finally went back to Prayer Point as I guess I did feel the tug in my heart that it is something God wants me to pray for and to be a part of - this school community. 

6. It's only when you fully let go of the ashes (and fear), will the beauty (and goodness) flow into your life.

I've had a bad run of relationships over the previous years and I have to say it still scarred me badly. It was one of those issues I never really wanted to resolve but I remained bitter and broken because of it. It was kind of like those, "Sighs, I'll never find anyone like that anymore." It was more of a fear that I will never get to get married, never get to have kids or have a family of my own. The past became much of a stumbling block for my future.

I finally decided to let it go, the past hurts and everything that was holding me back from stepping into the future, the greater glory and the beauty that was awaiting me while I hesitated. I honestly think it was the best thing I've ever done this year, to have finally said that I truly, Let it Go. *cues song*

I've seen visions and heard from God the amazing and unimaginable promises he has for me in my life and I'll continue to hold on to that.

So really, just Let it Go for as the more you dwell in your past, your wonderful future is escaping from you.

General reflections over the year, there is honestly so much to Thank God for. This year has had it run and it's time for another amazing year ahead. 

Till then, chill out.